I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
