Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
