508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
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