So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
