Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
