hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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