We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
