I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
