So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
