Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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