Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
