why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
