I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
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