they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
