Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
