I wish I could punch you in the face.
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
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