Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
