franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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