I wanna bring you to show and tell
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Randomize
