Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
