she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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