can we get nightvision for the apartment?
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
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