And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
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I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
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Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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