Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
