I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
