you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
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