i permit you to call me
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
