I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
