and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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