bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
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