Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I want to be your penis for a week.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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