i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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