The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
false alarm. still invincible.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
