I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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