My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
