I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
