it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Randomize
