we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
