she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
