so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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