you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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