O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
