# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Randomize
