He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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