But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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