dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
