brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
