You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
