she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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