Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Did I show you my penis last night?
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Randomize