Just fell off a train. Bad.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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