why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
