Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
