Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
