i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
