She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Come see our sink grown plant.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
