I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
fuck your aforementioned shoe
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
