Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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