Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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