I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
