So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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