I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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