Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
