what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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