You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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