You smell like a Billy Joel song
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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