It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize