I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
