His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
