The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
