Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I am puke
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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