we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Randomize
